Leaders and managers are most effective when there is professional distance between them and the people they lead.
Now this sounds pretty antithetical to the notion of gaining trust, leading with humility, and building and engaged team. All of these things seem like they require us to be close and highly involved. Yes and no. You see, as leaders we have authority, and that authority creates a certain needed distance because of the power difference between us and the employees. Each group needs to function and build momentum in their roles separate from the other but not.
Often we try to close this gap by attempting to become simply friends and co-workers with our baristas. In short, we try get rid of our authority and almost apologize for it as we feel guilty for even having it in the first place. This is a gross misuse of power which is meant to be used in service to those we lead, not cast aside in a bid to win relational or emotional points.
The distance between boss and employee does not have to be void of empathy, vulnerability, humility, or friendliness. Those things are key to being able to aim your power well and every employee who has had a bad boss would agree that they want you to pursue those qualities. But don’t equate those things with just being your employees buddy. No employee wants a boss who refuses to be a leader and tries to soft-pedal their authority in a bid for what amounts to nothing more than personal validation and fear.
If we want to be good bosses and use our inherited authority well, we will be careful to maintain the professional distance necessary to do our jobs without being entangled with the emotions that come from trying to build personal relationships ahead of professional ones. If you talk about anything but the work, hang out outside of work, and then try to assert your authority in needed circumstances, you will find that it is much harder for people to take you seriously, and also it is much harder for you to make unbiased decisions as now you are too close to the staff to be objective.
As community driven as a coffee bar is, the place of professional distance is not antithetical to its thriving, but actually critical to its survival. I would encourage you to assess where you are in all of this. Are you afraid of your authority? Have you tried to create trust and buy-in through personal relationships? Maybe you are on the other side and are so distant that you cannot even empathize let alone lead effectively.
In both cases an adjustment is needed.
If you want to find success for yourself and your team it starts with professional distance.
-Chris
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