It is easy for me to chase peace in the moment in order to avoid temporary pain. I mean, I am really good at fooling myself, lying to myself that if I don’t address it, it will go away. If I avoid talking to that one employee about their service level at the POS then maybe the situation will work itself out. They know the standard and if I just give them space maybe they will self-correct? I can go on and on.
We are never more creative than when we are trying to avoid responsibility that involved awkwardness, pain, or tension. The truth though is that the most valuable things are on the otherwise of pain. The deepest friendships are the ones that have a history of conflict than leads to resolution. It is a testing of values and dedication.
I will always doubt your commitment to me if you are never willing to have a hard conversation. I know myself well enough to know my own B.S. and when someone calls me on it, though I may be defensive, I am grateful.
Same is true of staff in a coffee shop.
When you take the time to lean into the relationship and show that you have faith in the strength of that relationship and trust in them to be able to handle it, though it seems unpleasant in the moment, it creates a strength that cannot be created apart from resistance.
Let’s look to this time in our businesses as an early New Years resolution. Let’s resolve to care enough to confront and coach. Let’s show that we our staff and their development seriously. Let’s be open to others doing the same for us. Yes I said, “for” not “to”
Just like Danny Meyer asserts in his foundational book on hospitality “Setting the Table”, Hospitality is not done “to” the customer, but “for” them. It shows in its practice that we are on their side.
So let’s adopt a long term management mindset and be there for the benefit of our staff, no matter how if feels in the moment.
-Chris Deferio
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